#25: 360 Degree View

“You are thinking about where your brain is at any time. It’s very tricky but it’s why women are very well suited to rule the world in the future, because of the multi-tasking they do and their ability to be moving in 15 directions at once. It’s the women who behave like men, who focus in that singular way with the blinkers on, who have problems. You get a lot more done that way maybe, but you also lose the perception of who’s behind you, what’s going on, the 360 degrees of it, the whole picture of life that we do have as women.”

~Meryl Streep

December 18, 2017
Nikita’s Parents’ house

(Nikita would find out the events of this day more than a year later.)

During this time in her life, isolated from friends and family, trusting few people, Nikita relied on herself to interpret and make sense of what was happening around her. While she knew that many people loved her, it didn’t stop her from feeling alone. Going through the motions of her life, she didn’t have the energy to think too hard about what others were saying or doing. Normally she would have been thinking through the different motives, behaviors and actions of people around her. During this time she was operating with a heightened level of suspicion, almost paranoia. But even her usual spidey-sense didn’t see what was coming.

As her cell phone rang, Nikita’s mother picked up the phone and said, “Hello?”

“Hi Mom. It’s Scarlett.”

“Oh, Hi Scarlett. How are you?”

“I’m fine. Nothing really new since the last time we spoke. I’m just getting ready for the holidays. Everything fine with you and dad?”

Mom responded in an upbeat note, “Yes, we’re looking forward to some family time. I still need to get a few gifts for some friends. Nikita will help me drop them off tomorrow. Christmas is coming quickly.”

“Actually mom, that’s what I wanted to discuss with you. I heard Ben will be home soon. This might be a good time to talk with Ben and Alex about Nikita’s breakdown.”

Mom replied in a guarded voice, “What do you mean? Nikita didn’t have a breakdown.”

Scarlett replied in a frustrated voice, “Mom, you know what I mean. The kids really haven’t had anyone talk to them about it, except for Wayne. We know Nikita didn’t tell them anything, or very little. I think the kids need to know what really happened.”

“Scarlett, what do you mean? You know Nikita would not like us to interfere.”

“Mom. Nikita doesn’t know what she wants right now. She’s acting odd, so we need to rally around her and help her. You know I think Wayne did something to her. She didn’t just fall apart and need a mental hospital one day. He must have done something.”

“We can’t tell those kids that he did something, when we don’t know that. We have to accept what happened.”

“I won’t forget what happened. He threatened me with never being able to see Nikita again if I didn’t leave him alone and stay away. That is not normal behavior. Who walls off their spouse from their family when they are ill? A guilty person. I won’t rock the boat with Wayne directly, but the kids need to hear your version of what happened. Nikita loves those kids more than anything. They deserve to know the truth, because I don’t think they’ll hear it from Wayne. Their mother is not crazy. She isn’t going to be mental the rest of her life, or go screaming down the street naked.”

“Scarlett. Really? I guess I know what you mean. They probably know very little about those days she was in the hospital. Dad and I can talk with them, but we’re only going to tell them how much she loves them and that she is going to be fine. I’m not going to say anything bad about Wayne. I know he loves those kids too.”

Mom further mentioned said she would ask Dad for help and together they would find a way to bring up the incident with the kids. They would see how the kids were feeling about Nikita’s health and answer any questions.

“I think that’s the right plan Mom. The kids need to hear this from you and Dad. Nikita can’t lose those kids, and she’ll never go against Wayne or say a bad thing against him. But, Wayne is acting squirrely. I don’t trust him right now. So we need to say the things to the kids that Nikita can’t or won’t because she’s trying to protect them.” Scarlett was determined that Nikita’s boys hear from the family.

“Okay Scarlett. Dad and I will talk with the kids. They’ll come by before the holiday, I’m sure. But, let’s not mention this to Nikita. She wouldn’t like us getting involved.”

“Absolutely. Tony and I won’t say a word, or tell the family. Mom, I have to go now. I love you. Talk soon.” And with that, she hung up before Mom could say goodbye.

December 22, 2017
Nikita’s parents’ house

It was the last day of work for Nikita until New Year’s Eve, as her company closed for the holidays. She would have a much needed break and time to enjoy with her family after finishing work today. Wayne too was at work. Both kids were out of school and Ben didn’t need to return for several weeks. Taking advantage of their time off, the kids decided to take the short walk that afternoon to their grandparents’ home. Being so close, the kids visited them frequently.

Nikita’s parents loved to spend time with their grandchildren. Sometimes they would just hang out and chat, often her parents would treat them to lunch or dinner out, other times her children would help their grandparents with projects or chores around the house. Their grandchildren grown and starting their own lives, her parents would relish the opportunity to see the kids and would drop whatever they were doing to enjoy the infrequent visits together.

On this afternoon, her parents decided to broach the subject of her hospital stay with the grandkids. They caved into the pressure from Scarlett, who was keen on Nikita’s children hearing the events from the grandparents’ perspective.

Nikita’s parents related the events of that day to Alex and Ben, informing them that she was fine at the first hospital and had been released by the doctors to go home. However, their father had arranged to take her to another hospital. When they arrived at Teddy Roosevelt, their father had them stay in the lobby while he went into the emergency department to discuss her condition. Wayne came out later to inform them that she was taken by ambulance to the psychiatric ward of the hospital. They didn’t know the details about how that decision was made.

The grandparents told the children that they didn’t believe Nikita belonged in a psych ward. They let the kids know that she was ok, and that the hospital stay was just a fluke – there was nothing wrong with their mother. They didn’t share this information to place blame on Wayne, but to reassure the children that their mother was not crazy. They were supportive of Wayne. This was well-intentioned, thinking they were helping to smooth over what was an upsetting event for the children.

Thankfully the kids never heard Scarlett’s views. Scarlett was shocked by Wayne’s initial explanation of what happened to Nikita. She told her parents that she didn’t know how this could happen to her college educated sister, with a corporate job, going along smoothly with her life. Then the more she thought about everything, the more she thought it wasn’t true and questioned the narrative that Wayne was spreading. She thought that Nikita wouldn’t have a breakdown overnight, so he must have done something to Nikita to cause it. Certainly his threats to shut Nikita out of their lives raised some suspicions. Wayne had been clear: Nikita had a mental illness; she could be permanently damaged; she may never leave the mental hospital; she may become a ward of the state. Scarlett couldn’t reconcile his prognosis with everything she knew about Nikita. Sure, she hadn’t seen her sister in a little while, but it just didn’t make sense. Having a breakdown was such a shock, and Wayne’s behavior so odd, that the only explanation was Wayne must have done something to her. She didn’t know why or how, but because he was keeping everyone away with threats, there had to be more to the story. Then she saw Nikita after the long weekend, with a dead face and shut down. She was clearly traumatized. Perhaps she just needed to get away. Some horse therapy would be good for her. If only it were that simple.

There was a lot left unsaid in the family about that long weekend. While everyone offered the kids an opportunity to talk about it and answer their questions, they weren’t talking. Nikita’s parents recognized that the kids were keeping their concerns to themselves.

December 22, 2017
Kerr residence

Wayne arrived home from work and got a beer from the refrigerator. The kids were not around, so he sat down with his beer and turned on the TV to watch the news.

Wayne had hardly started his beer when the door flung open and Ben and Alex walked in. He asked where they had been, curious about what they were up to. Ben replied that they went to visit their grandparents.

Ben mentioned to Wayne that they had been talking with their grandparents about mom’s stay at the hospital. Ben was especially upset that Nikita was put into a hospital when she was fine. He probably asked Wayne why that happened to their mother.

Wayne exploded saying, “Get the f@*k out of my house!”

It wasn’t surprising that Ben would ask about Nikita’s welfare. Ben was the 2^nd man of the house and being the eldest, was often her protector when Wayne would get mad. He probably wanted to know how it happened, more than why Wayne did it. Wayne’s reaction was strong, but not out of character. He wanted to squash the possible insubordination. He needed to squash any sort of rebellion, maintain control and show the kids he was the boss.

Ben quickly back-pedaled, and in an apologetic tone said, “I’m sorry dad, I didn’t mean to be out of line. I just had some questions because I didn’t know what happened that day. Being away at college, I had no way of knowing what it was like.”

“Ben, I accept your apology. You should know that I did everything I could to help your mother. I relied on the doctors to guide my decision making. Your grandparents weren’t with me the whole time and didn’t see your mother’s behavior at the Emergency room in Teddy Roosevelt. I did what I thought was right for our family. I was taking care of all of us, the best I could.” Wayne shared his side of the story with Ben, but did not tell the kids about the fight he had with Nikita’s dad earlier that month. He didn’t want to tell them about that and have them pick sides. He couldn’t risk it.

Wayne had been waiting for this day. Nikita’s mom had told him they were talking to the kids about it. He just didn’t know exactly when they were going to have that conversation.

When Nikita’s parents informed Wayne that they were going to talk to the kids about the hospital, and see if they had any questions or concerns, Wayne was pissed. He didn’t appreciate any meddling in his family’s affairs. He wasn’t sure exactly what they would say, but they could easily make him out to be the bad guy since he took her from the first hospital over to the insane asylum. He wasn’t sure if he could fully explain that to the kids when the grandparents might have a different opinion of the events of that day. They’d never talked about it together.

When he heard they were talking to the kids, he made it clear to Nikita’s parents that he was done with them. Specifically, he said, “You guys are dead to me. Don’t turn my kids against me!”

Nikita’s parents never intended to manipulate the kids or harm Wayne. His anger and interpretation of the events were quite shocking. Telling Nikita’s parents that they were dead to him was nothing new for Wayne. He’d done it to his own parents.

Wayne called Agatha to vent about the incident.

“Hello?”

“Agatha, do you know what your parents did?”

“Wayne, what happened? You sound upset.”

“The kids went to your parents’ house today. Your parents told them some BS about how I locked Nikita up! They are trying to get between me and the kids! They can’t make my kids pick sides.”

“Wayne, I’m sure they wouldn’t do that. Unless Nikita told them to.”

“Well your family is dead to me. I’m cutting them off. They won’t control me.”

“Wayne, let me call mom and see what happened. I’ll get back to you.”

Agatha got off the phone and had a small satisfied look on her face. She was entertained by the idea that Nikita’s family was experiencing some friction. She was so perfect, it was time she had some bad karma.

Agatha thought she could call her parents’ under the ruse of “helping” to mend fences. Said another way, she would now have a reason to call and get all the dirt.

Agatha called Mom. “Mom, what happened with Nikita’s kids?”

Mom replied, “What do you mean?”

Agatha said, “I heard you talked with Alex and Ben about Wayne locking Nikita up. You shouldn’t have done that!” She was scolding Mom.

Mom got testy, “Why not?”

“You know how those kids feel about Wayne.”

“I didn’t say anything about Wayne, just that she didn’t belong there.” Mom sounded a little defensive given Agatha’s accusatory tone.

Agatha replied, “Wayne wants nothing to do with you guys now that you tried to turn the kids against him.”

Mom said, “We didn’t say anything about Wayne, but we wanted to be sure the kids knew that Nikita didn’t belong there, and that she’s not crazy. The kids need to know their mom is fine.”

This was a defining moment for the family. Agatha criticized her parents, saying their handling of the situation was causing friction, which resulted in more distance between all of them. Unlike Scarlett, who showed genuine concern for Nikita and her welfare, Agatha took every opportunity to usurp or undermine Nikita’s position in the family. Agatha showed more allegiance and support for Wayne than her sister.

This was a complicated time in the family with secrets being kept, many putting on a façade of caring, others disconnected and distant, but little semblance of familial unity. The manipulations, the jockeying, the charades – Nikita didn’t know all that was going on under the surface of her family, but it would slowly be revealed.

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