I’ve recently spent time cleaning closets and reorganizing my life.  In the process of doing this, I spent some time rereading my treasure trove of love letters from my husband.  I have some 30 plus years of letters and poems he’s written me.  And they are beautiful. He’s very talented.  It got me thinking about how we started out.

We were best friends initially, but fell in love over time.  I often call him the love of my life.  I know he feels the same. His poems said as much. Reading his love letters and poems made me feel cherished, adored, desired, special and proud.  I am proud that we have a love that would last forever.

Our life hasn’t always been easy.  Marriage is work and we did some of it extremely well.  Like the love notes. I loved receiving his handwritten notes. And I loved rereading them over and over again, each time reaffirming our commitment to each other, and certainly his to me. His letters made me believe that I was wonderful, beautiful, his better half, and more.  A love letter or personal note to your loved one can set a hugely positive tone for the day and maybe even the week.  I highly recommend this to every committed couple as a way to stay in touch, show your appreciation for each other, give positive feedback, set the tone for your life together, and build a vision of your oneness.

People don’t appreciate the effort of a good handwritten letter today.  It’s a lost art.  Typing a beautifully written love letter in email doesn’t evoke the same emotion as a personally handwritten letter with the character and personality of the person coming across in the form of their handwriting — the slashes, the swirls, the crosses, the dots.  Having a physical letter that you can touch further pulls at your heart strings.  Being able to pull a letter out of a drawer and read it, folding it, caressing it, gazing at the hand writing, doesn’t compare to pulling out a laptop, booting it up, logging into your email and sorting by name to find your loved one’s personally typed missive.  The computer lacks poetry.

In a relationship, with a commitment between partners, I believe there must be love, loyalty, vulnerability, truth, and devotion to family.  Communicating these things can be difficult.  For me, the most personal and meaningful way to share your feelings is a handwritten message, or love letter.  But I must confess that my husband was the letter writer so much more than me. He has a way with words that makes every sentence sound amazing and poetic.  I don’t have that gift.  I rely more on my specialty, which is to “Love-Out”.

I know only one way to care for those close to me and that is to Love-Out.  Inside me is a soft and vulnerable heart with a strong force of love.  When I love, I open myself to heartbreak, but only love you harder.  I have the courage to expose all my vulnerabilities and truth, to connect with you intimately, and show you my commitment. I’m all in.  Your happiness is my joy. You come before I, regardless. There is no I without You. And We will always come before Me.  When I love someone, I build a connection for life.  My fatal flaw is my infinite loyalty.   It’s in my soul, my DNA. Friend, lover, family, they are all the same. I don’t let go.  No matter what you do to me, because my love is bigger than that.

For me, love is a bond for life, that gets replicated exponentially. My commitment to those I love is everything above and beyond.  I know that commitment isn’t truly tested until crisis strikes, but I know that my commitment to those I love would never fail. By nature, I am a fighter, and will fight through any situation for Us and You. I believe my family and friends know that I would be there for them, and while it’s not the same as a written avowal, it is something I’ve shown over our lifetime, and they’ve come to know.

My husband has the whole love letter thing mastered and he brings so much intimacy and emotion to our relationship with his thoughts, praise, tributes, and words.  But me, I bring the passion and steadfast loyalty that is a force of will that will not be diminished. I lay my soul at his feet, stay steady, bare my vulnerability and devote myself to my family. That’s what I bring.  When people wonder what keeps marriages together and couple’s committed, I often think these two aspects of our relationship are a big part of our success.  I am as committed to him, as he is to me. I know how he feels about me because he’s been writing amazing love letters and poetry to me since we met.

Between us, my husband and I have left a legacy of love for our children.  I’d like to think that my children have the best of all worlds to be successful in any relationship – the ability to articulate their feelings, make another person feel special, the lesson of putting others first, and a fierce protectiveness of those they love.

Follow my crazy, true story. Curated and original content published weekly!

Nikita@dontreleaseme.com